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C R A P ~

Sunday, 1 July 2018 • 07:51 • 0 HackeR

How to describe it ah? How much i hate my surrounding. Always having these kind of thought sucked me. Aku penat lahh hidup mcm ni. Paham dak? I want my family, i want family family family. The last time aku ada something we called family is 2013. No. Actually a long time ago aku dh hilang family. Hampa mesti best kan? Ada ayah yg boleh cerita masalah, ada mak yg boleh share everything yg hampa rasa. Sayang sekali i never get that. I'll never blame my mom sbb aku tauu dya dh bertahan about 10 years dgn abah aku semata sbb aku kecik lg dlu. Weekdays ke weekend ke aku jrg sgt sgt lah boleh jumpa abah aku. Sbb apa? Sbb dya sibuk kejaaa. Keja untuk bg anak bini makan. HAHAHA. CRAPP. I wish i never know the truth. Mcm mana mak aku makan hati, itu lah aku rasa. But my mom would definitely lg worst lah. Apa perasaan hampa, waktu baru nk up kenai dunia. Org ckap nk heat puberty, you come to home yg negative. Without communicaton. Without anything. Hidup buat hal sendiri jeee? I had that kind of life. Aku sedih tau dak bila p sekolah member cerita diorg buat ni buat tu dgn ayah diorg. And aku x. Yes in financial dlu time skolah aku ni category yg senang lah. Bila dh besaq nak paksa aku buat semua aku xboleh weyy. I cant lie. How uncomfortable i am around my own dad. The worst thing ever is when abah aku halau my mom from house and he expect aku xdgaq semua tu. And go around telling how bad is my mom. Nak jee aku bunuh dya sbb i hate him so much. Derhaka ke aku ni weyy, for not having the feeling syg toward my own dad. Even aku dok jauh aku x rindu dya mcm mana aku rindu mak aku, mcm mana aku nk syg tgok muka mak when im miserable. Yes aku sgt penat kalau ckp pasal family. Aku tau ada family yg lg teruk dri aku. But i cant help. Aku yg rasa. Aku penattt. Kemonn please lahhh. Another reason why aku tak boleh dgn abah aku is i hate bila dya tipu aku when he said he wanna go to kenduri kawan dya weyy. He left me alone dekat rumah 2 tingkat without anyone. And he married with an evil who put me in a lot of fear. Bij tu pengamal ilmu hitam. She make my dad forgot me, dya hntar belaan dya mai kacau aku. Im just 16 n 17 years old time tu okayyy. Bolehh bayang tak how freaky i am pintu bilik hg kena ketuk mcm nk roboh dri luar and u realise u are all alone. How scary is it dgar tapak kakii turun naik tangga dalam rumah yg ada hg sorang je? Can u imagine? I hate it so damm much. Aku benci the fact bini baru hg try make us makin jauh sbb kita xpernah dekat punn. Apa salah aku weyy dpt layanan yg mcm nii. Always put blame dekat akuuuu. Aku jd dendam, i can't help. Smpai satu tahap i don't mind. Just plisss jgn kacau aku tu jerrrrrr. Aku penatttt. Tak larat nak habaq lah. Aku penat on how to handle my own emotion. On how not to cursed on u sbb u are my dad. Boleh paham tak how bad i hate to be with yr wifeeeeeeeeee? I hate u even more bcoz u never want to paham. Even brapa skali pun i said i don' like. Aku buat muka. U just never get it. My whole life is just a drama. CRAAPPPP!!!!!!!!

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